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This is an opinion column.
Alex Golesh was the second choice for Auburn football, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be an incredible hire at the same time.
Al Pacino was the second choice to play Michael Corleone in “The Godfather,” and that worked out pretty well for everybody.
I’m not saying Golesh is the SEC’s new No.1 gangster, but he sounded like a budding mafia boss on Monday during his introductory news conference.
Some of his quotes had me, the hired geek, ready to chew nails and spit bullets for the cause. Listen to this stuff:
— “What you’re going to get from me, from our staff and as we get rolling with our players, is the hardest-working, toughest, grittiest program in the entire country.”
— “We’ll be aggressive, create explosives, create negatives, create turnovers. We’re going to be the most violent freaking team on the football field every single Saturday.”
— “We’re going to recruit this 250-mile radius harder than anybody in the entire country. The high school football within these 250 miles is nothing short of elite.”
It all sounded great. By the end, I was convinced Golesh was the second-coming of Patrick Fain Dye.
Let’s compare that to new Florida coach Jon Sumrall, who was Auburn’s top choice until he wasn’t.
Florida fans hate Sumrall from the beginning because he’s not Lane Kiffin. The Gators thought Kiffin was going to be their modern-day Steve Spurrier. Now they’re stuck with Sumrall, who feels a lot like Sun Belt Billy Napier.
I don’t agree, but perception is sometimes all that matters in the SEC.
Sumrall’s insecurities got the best of him on Day One down in Swampland, USA, when he took a veiled swipe at Auburn during his introduction. It didn’t seem like the classiest thing to do, but I’m sure Urban Meyer loved it.
“We had choices,” Sumrall said. “We chose Florida.”
Sumrall wanted everyone to know that he passed on Auburn. Smart move? We’ll see. Florida goes to Auburn in 2026 and that classic SEC rivalry suddenly has new juice.
For those wondering, Auburn leads the all-time series with Florida 43-39-2.
Golesh, of course, went into the Swamp this season with his old team, the South Florida Bulls, and upset the Gators 18-16. That was the beginning of the end for Napier.
I have a feeling that Gangster Golesh will be ushering more SEC coaches to the unemployment line before too long. I’m not saying Alabama coach Kalen DeBoer should be scared, but if he loses to Golesh next season then he might as well start packing his bags for a permanent vacation.
“The hair on my arm just stood up thinking about the Iron Bowl,” Golesh said when asked about competing against Alabama and Georgia. “That’s what you live for. If you’re any sort of competitor, if you’re in this game, that’s what you live for. We’ll be ready to rock.”
Auburn football, ready to rock. Put it on a T-shirt.
Golesh won the news conference, but at Auburn we all know that’s the easiest thing he’ll ever have to do.
As for losing, Golesh had a couple of former coach Hugh Freeze’s recruits de-commit from Auburn on Monday. I’m not worried about those players, but keeping the core of Freeze’s roster in place will be a factor in Golesh’s success next season. This is an important week for Auburn football, and Golesh knows it.
“These first seven days are as critical as anything else,” Golesh said. “Hiring a staff, recruiting for signing day Wednesday … I think more important than any of that is meeting with our current players here.”
Who wants to stay and who wants to go join Kiffin in LSU? Deuce Knight chose Auburn over Ole Miss, but you know Kiffin is already in his ear about moving to Baton Rouge. That probably goes for Auburn’s defensive coordinator, too.
Golesh seems like a pretty authentic guy, which is already a nice change. If any player or coach doesn’t feel like a good fit for what Golesh wants to do, then Auburn should trust his judgment.
“Lastly, as you get a break in between using the restroom and trying to eat a Dorito, you’re trying to finalize hiring a staff,” Golesh said. “But, again, I think the most important thing, and I can’t say this enough, is the current players that are here because these are the guys that have the most immediate choice to make right now.”
I’m trying to imagine Golesh munching on some Cool Ranch Doritos while asking DJ Durkin to stick around and coach the defense.
“Are you in or out?”
“Are you talking to me or the corn chip?”
Personally, I’ll take a bag of Doritos over pretty much anything, but Gangster Golesh might have different plans.
What is it that Michael Corleone said to his consigliere?
“If anything in this life is certain,” Corleone said, “If history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone.”
But that was “The Godfather Part II.” Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
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