Saturday Night Live returned with a cold open once again featuring Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson), this time boasting along with Vice President JD Vance and his cabinet members about his latest moves, furthering his presidential authoritarianism.
The skit was pretty standard for SNL, with Trump at a lectern at the White House addressing the country. It also was not a surprise for the show, given all that has happened since the holiday break: the ICE occupation of Minneapolis, the capture of Venezuelan leader Nicolas Maduro and the threats to Greenland.
At one point in the skit, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem (Ashley Padilla) said, “Obviously there’s been clashes on both sides in Minneapolis. And have we been perfect? Yes.”
“And I know a lot of people looking at the situation in Minnesota are wondering the same thing: Can I join ICE? Well, let me ask you, is your neck wider than your head? Are you currently wearing a Punisher T-short? Have you ever punched a hole in the wall because your son took a dance class? If the answer is yes, then grab a gun, any gun, and settle up big boy.”
Trump then said, “Well, now that we’re heard from my Secretary of War on America, let’s go ahead and bring out our Secretary of War with the world.”
Colin Jost returned as Secretary Of Defense Pete Hegseth, trying to please the boss with unending “tough guy” posturing as if he were a WWF fighter. But it doesn’t quite work when Hegseth takes out a kettle bell, and lurches it back and forth between his crotch.
“That was great buddy, even I know you’re doing that wrong,” Johnson’s Trump told him.
As is typical, the skit featured real-life Trump moments that easily made the transition to SNL satire, like POTUS savoring “someone else’s Nobel Prize.” At another moment, while JD Vance (Jeremy Culhane) is speaking, Trump wanders off to look out a window. “I see a cardinal and a blue jay in the same tree,” Trump told him. In reality, Trump did wander off look out a White House window during a meeting with oil executives, as he marveled at the construction site for his new ballroom.
Also returning was Marcello Hernandez as Secretary of State Marco Rubio. He is asked to say a few words “to the people of Cuba,” a next potential U.S. military target. But he gave remarks in Spanish, irritating Trump. “No, no. no not in here big guy. I didn’t like that at all. You’re driving in the wrong direction, honey.”
The skit ended with Trump blurting out that “midterms are canceled.” In reality, Trump suggested such a possibility in an interview with Reuters, a comment that Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt said was a joke. In the havoc of Trump 2.0, it’s harder and harder to tell the difference.
