19 Things Young People Should Know, From Older People
Older people can be wiser thanks to their lived experiences. So when we asked the BuzzFeed Community: “Tell us the good life advice you want to give to young adults,” so many people over 30 came through. Here’s what they said below:
1.
“The days are long, but the years are so short. Be kind and loving. We’re all human beings, and everyone has struggles and problems, and kindness goes a long way.”
2.
“Pay attention to the amount of time you are procrastinating or dreading doing something. It might be the dishes, your taxes, starting a fitness program, etc. Notice the time it takes to actually do something about that particular thing. If you are spending more time worrying than it takes to accomplish the task, you are wasting years of your life and marinating yourself with negativity. Just fill the sink, compile your tax papers, and go for a half-hour walk instead. Now you’ll feel like you accomplished something. Notice how much better that feels than dreading something? Next time, start the task on the first negative thought. Then you’ll develop the habit of just getting the thing done the first time it occurs to you, for the most part.”
—cazculhane
3.
“Protect your hearing. You will still hear the music with earplugs in, I promise. Otherwise, you end up like me with tinnitus and hearing loss.”
4.
“I decided to get sober when I was 23, and one of the biggest realizations I came to was that I’m never going to live up to my family’s expectations, and that’s their problem, not mine. You can’t live your life for anyone else’s happiness but your own.”
—jacquelineoh728
5.
“Credit cards do not equal free spending. If you have to get a credit card, get one with a lower limit that you can use only in emergencies. Start saving for retirement in your 20s. Wear sunscreen. Hydrate. Get regular dental and medical physicals. If you smoke: quit ASAP. I’m in my 50s, and these are all things I am now living the consequences of.”
6.
“It’s OK if you’re still figuring out your gender or sexuality. I’ve always been nonbinary/androgynous, but I didn’t even know that was a thing until people started talking about alternative genders more. I just knew something didn’t feel right, and I struggled a lot with not being ‘a proper girl.’ It clicked for me when I was reading about it, and it was super validating. I’ve been much more comfortable and happy in my own skin since figuring it out.”
—notsosane1991
7.
“Go to the dentist. It’s expensive, I know. It can be scary, I know. But your entire body can be affected by poor dental hygiene.”
8.
“Don’t constantly compare your life to others. Everyone does things at their own pace and makes their own choices. All your friends are getting married, and you’re not? So what? I never felt like getting married, and I’m in my 40s now. I felt pretty weird about it for a long time, like something was wrong with me, but I’m fine. We are not all the same — your choices about kids, marriage, career, etc, are all about YOUR life.”
—chemicalgeisha
9.
“Your easiest life is NOT your best life. All of the best things in life take work. Take risks, have hard conversations, and if you fail, dust yourself off and start again. You’re stronger than you think.”
10.
“Don’t get stuck on the idea that you need to plan out the full projection of your life and career when you’re 18 or just starting out in college. You can absolutely refocus later on if you need to or if things in your life change. I had a mentor for my degree at my university who started her career as an X-ray tech, then returned to school in her 30s to pursue paleontology. For most of her adult life, she bred and raised agility dogs, and when she retired, she made that her full-time commitment. Also, if the regular pipeline of ‘graduate high school, go to college’ isn’t for you, see if there are any vocational schools that teach a skill you’re interested in. Being a lineworker, plumber, electrician, or trained carpenter is just as valid as going to school and earning a nursing degree, but I know in the US it’s not discussed nearly enough with high school students.”
—torbielillies
11.
“You do not owe your job your life. Use whatever PTO you get. Call in sick when you need it. Move on when something better comes along or just when you want to. In the best and kindest way possible, you are expendable. The job will go on without you, so don’t sell yourself to it.”
12.
“You’re going to fail. Probably more than once. It’s okay to fail, and it’s okay to fall apart in the moment. But you have to take the lesson you just learned and get back on your feet because that’s what matters more.”
—Pinkster
13.
“Some people are not wired to just be able to have ‘no strings attached sex,’ and it’s ok. Stop going back; it hurts.”
14.
“There is setting boundaries, and then there is avoidance behavior. Learn the difference between the two, as one is healthy and preserving, and the other is not; sometimes it can be hard to tell.”
—r4732565ca
15.
“Don’t marry someone for their potential. They may have the skills, but if they’re unwilling, they won’t change. If you’re asking your partner to sit down with you to set a budget and they respond with something like, ‘There’s no point because I’m not making a lot yet,’ that is a whole brigade of red flags. It’s not worth ruining your life.”
16.
“The most important advice that I have ever, and will ever give to young people is to find a way to fall in love with yourself as early in life as you can, and to try really hard not to let any outside factors change that love. You can get through so many hard, painful things in life by knowing that you’re worth digging out of that emotional hole.”
—Jsca
17.
“Deal with your trauma so it doesn’t become the thing that keeps setting you back. Recovering from traumatic events takes time and either therapy or something similar. Own your trauma and learn from it. It will always be a part of you, but once you really work through it, it doesn’t need to define you. But unless you work through it, it will continue to influence you in negative ways, and you won’t see the rainbow at the other side.”
18.
“Don’t be a know-it-all in regular conversation, even if you are knowledgeable. Ask questions instead to keep a conversation going. And men, before you feel the need to correct women or say, ‘Well, actually,’ take a deep breath and don’t. It’s time to put that away forever.”
—seekyou
19.
“Mine are perhaps controversial, but it’s what I’ve got to show so far for 47 years:”
Older adults, do you have advice you think younger people should follow? Tell us in the comments or in the anonymous form below:
