North Carolinians have lost millions in romance scams. What FBI, BBB warn ahead of Valentines Day
As hundreds of North Carolinians have lost millions of dollars in romance and confidence scams in recent years, the Federal Bureau of Investigation Charlotte is urging consumers to be aware of these frauds ahead of Valentine’s Day.
What is a romance scam?
In these specific instances of fraud, scammers use fake online identities to gain a victim’s trust and affection, before coercing them into financial payments.
Shelley Lynch, a public affairs officer with FBI Charlotte, walked WRAL News through the process in which a scammer can gain the trust of a potential victim, separate from the standard procedures of other financial scams.
“What they’re going to do is immediately compliment you. What you have in common, even the same type of disappointment you have in a type of relationship,” Lynch says.
Scammers then guilt victims into payments to help afford travel costs, attorney’s fees for relationship disputes, and more, all in promise of a romantic relationship.
“All year round, but [scammers] are especially aggressive ahead of Valentine’s Day. Really looking for somebody they can exploit, to part them from their money,” Lynch says.
Cary woman duped, scammer charged
In August 2025, a woman in Cary was part of a federal investigation, involving civil forfeitures into a scheme that obtained money illegally from four separate victims.
The woman, whose initials and age are being withheld for anonymity, met a man on the dating site “Coffee Meets Bagel” and began messaging without mention of finances at first.
The conversation then moved to WhatsApp, where the scammer allegedly introduced her to a cryptocurrency trading platform where she unknowingly deposited money into the fraudster’s account whilst believing it was deposited into her own.
Behind the numbers: North Carolinians lost millions in confidence scams
According to FBI data, 519 people in North Carolina alone were victims of romance or confidence scams in 2024. Those victims lost a total of $18.8 million.
That’s an average of $36,000 lost per victim.
National FBI data from the same reporting period shows that more than 17,000 people reported being victims of a romance scam, totaling more than $672 million in losses.
Although victims of romance scams have decreased in recent years, dropping by roughly 2,000 cases between 2022 and 2024, Lynch says that there is a major under-count for reporting these crimes.
“They [victims] can be embarrassed, humiliated, they don’t want to admit they’re victims of scammers. We’ve seen cases where someone was arrested, convicted and sentenced. Those victims believe they were still in love with that person.”
How to protect yourself and spot a romance scam
Lynch said the telltale sign of a romance scam is whether the person is attempting to move the conversation off a dating app into an encrypted messaging platform.
Other tips from the FBI:
- Be careful what you post and make public online. Scammers can use details shared on social media and dating sites to better understand and target you.
- Reverse image search the person’s photo and profile
- Go slowly and ask lots of questions.
- Beware if the individual seems too perfect
- Beware if the individual attempts to isolate you from friends and family or requests inappropriate photos or financial information that could later be used to extort you.
- Beware if the individual promises to meet in person but then always comes up with an excuse why he or she can’t.
- Never send money to anyone you have only communicated with online or by phone.
