Gird your loins Cyprus!
Every four years, we become a much, much noisier island. And the moment is almost upon us…
No it’s not the panayiri to end all panayiris. It’s not a wedding convoy. Nor have all the dogs in the neighbourhood gone into collective heat and decided to bark even more frantically than usual.
This is a noise that, all summer, will travel across balconies, through open windows, along terraces. A cheer erupts down the street. A groan answers from the next apartment. Before long, entire neighbourhoods are celebrating, despairing, arguing in unison…
Yes, you’ve guessed it.
The World Cup is coming. And it’s coming to Cyprus! As a football-loving nation, we’re highly invested. Research suggests that 77 per cent of local men support a football club, while almost eight in ten have an interest in the sport.
And while Cyprus has not made the cut (highly wishful thinking!), this year not even our perennial favourite – Greece – is in the mix.
That’s not going to stop us, of course. Somewhere between the opening whistle and the final, every one of us will find a team to adopt – and let the entire neighbourhood know about it!
Because this isn’t just football. It’s the World Cup. The grandest sporting event on the planet!
A two-month long festival of hope, heartbreak, and questionable refereeing decisions. A time when everyone on the island suddenly becomes devoted to nations they previously struggled to locate on a map.
An accountant from Larnaca will find himself devastated by the elimination of Uruguay.
A hairdresser in Nicosia will become passionately invested in the fortunes of Japan.
A family in Limassol will spend three weeks explaining to everyone that this is finally England’s year. (Heads up: it never is.)
And a referee in Mexico will receive more vociferous advice from a balcony in Strovolos than from his entire coaching staff.
Okay, so Cyprus hardly needs an excuse to get loud. Last year, European Environment Agency figures revealed that Cyprus is officially the noisiest country in Europe, with 49.2 per cent of the urban population exposed to excessive road noise – more than double the EU average.
Frankly, they could have saved themselves the research. Anyone who has spent more than five minutes on the island already knows we’re a nation of barking dogs, revving motorcycles, church bells, roadworks, wedding convoys, vans that sell ‘patates’ at top volume…
And now we can add the penalty shoot-out that echoes across three municipalities. The delayed celebration from the neighbour whose internet is approximately 45 seconds behind everyone else’s. And the scream when a referee makes a call so baffling that half the island considers taking up officiating in time for 2030.
But then, almost as suddenly as it arrived, the World Cup ends.
The final roar and our televisions go quiet(er). Our balconies fall silent. Dogs across the island recover from their state of confusion.
And Cyprus returns to being merely Europe’s noisiest country – rather than actively competing with itself for the title.
Until, that is, the next World Cup.
When we’ll once an island already famous for making noise will decide, collectively, that it can be oh-so-much-louder!
