In 1827, a farm boy from rural New York named Joseph Smith claimed to have dug up some golden plates inscribed with an ancient text, which he then translated into English, which he then published as a tome called the Book of Mormon, which then became a religion, and two centuries passed, and because of all this we may now listen to a group of beachy-waved ding-dongs on television explain that their faith prohibits them from drinking alcohol, which is why they instead do ketamine.
