El Jalapeño: Bad Bunny working second shift on taco stand in Mexico City after poor sales
MEXICO CITY — In a stunning career pivot that nobody saw coming (except literally everyone on Reddit), global superstar Bad Bunny was spotted Tuesday behind a taco stand in Mexico City, furiously chopping cilantro and muttering “yo no hago trap… ahora hago tacos.”
Witnesses say the reggaeton icon — real name Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio — set up the stand after critics “absolutely obliterated” his latest concert tour, which one reviewer described as “like watching a Wi-Fi signal slowly deteriorate with rhythm.”
Celebrity pulling power has seen hungry Chilangos appear in droves.
“I thought it was performance art,” said one local foodie. “But then he handed me a taco al pastor and said, ‘This one’s called Un Verano Sin Salsa.’ I realized… he’s serious.”
Sources close to Bad Bunny confirm that despite the humbling fall from sold-out arenas to a sidewalk griddle, Benito remains upbeat. “He’s channeling the same artistic energy,” one friend said. “He used to drop beats; now he drops onions.”
The stand has already gone viral, with fans eager to sample items like the Me Porto Fajita combo and the limited-edition Titi Me Preguntó Si Quiere Guacamole. Others note that his tipping policy — mandatory reggaeton dance moves for a discount — has become a local sensation.
When asked if he plans to return to music, Bad Bunny reportedly shrugged. “The reviews hurt,” he said, flipping a tortilla with the precision of a Grammy winner. “But here, at least, everyone dances — with or without tickets. And if my next single flops again, I’ll just open a second stand in Guadalajara.”
El Jalapeño is a satirical news outlet. Nothing in this article should be treated as real news or legitimate information. For the brave souls seeking context, the real news article that inspired this piece can be found here.
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