CHICAGO –Taylor Decker stood at his locker after a game like he always does, answering questions and giving real genuine thought before each response.
He’s been the voice in the locker room for this franchise during the ultimate highs and lows during his decade here. And once again, Decker is discussing his future and what it means in an open and thoughtful manner.
Decker, the Detroit Lions’ longest-tenured player, has already said he will take time this offseason to decide whether to continue playing or not. After the Lions finished their frustrating campaign with a 19-16 win over the Chicago Bears on Sunday, Decker said he will need a few months to make an informed decision.
He said a couple of times that his mental health is not the best after round-the-clock treatment for seven months, and that he simply needs to get away. The 32-year-old underwent shoulder surgery before camp, and has been dealing with the issue around the clock ever since at the facility, putting his kids to sleep and then finishing the night with more rehab at home.
Heck, Decker even suffered a dislocated finger in the finale against the Bears, and kept on playing.
Decker knows he can’t put that strain on his family again and wants to be a present father and be there for his wife.
“I just want to get away because it’s been really challenging for me mentally, just being in pain all the time and knowing that you have to go out there and play anyway,” Decker said. “I’m just not in a good mental state right now. I’m not sleeping well. I mean, I just need to get away, and I go out there, and I play because I love the game and I love my teammates.”
“But at some point, I have to make a decision for other people, too. You know, it’s not only going to be about me because again, if it was only about me, I would play until I couldn’t anymore. So it’ll be a couple months. I got a lot of people to talk to. I got a lot of MRIs to get … Because if I do come back, I know what I’m signing up for as far as putting my body through it again. I know there’s potential for, you know, catastrophic injury and things like that, but then if I’m done, then it’s over.”
Decker said he doesn’t have an exact timeline, but knows he needs to take a couple of months to get there. He wants to get his body and mind feeling better, check for any second opinions, because “I need to make informed decisions.”
The 2016 first-round pick said he recently told his wife, Kyndra, that he feels like he wants to be like those old warriors from medieval shows who just wants to die on the battlefield. But Decker knows he can’t go that route because it’s not just about him and his playing career at this stage of his life.
“That makes it so much harder because it’s — I know I can still play,” Decker said, fighting back tears after hugging his teammates in the locker room.
“But it’s a massive decision, and it’s not only about me. It’s about my kids. I’ll get emotional about that. Just to be able to show up and be the father that I want to be. It’s not about do I want to play football. That’s really important to me because I can make the selfish decision. I can keep playing until I can’t walk anymore or I can’t throw the ball with my kids. But that’s not what you do as a father and husband. So that’s going to weigh heavily into my decision is what is. What is the future quality of life of mine going to look like, and how will that impact my kids?”
As for Sunday’s win, Decker said he never went in with the frame of mind or thinking that this would be his last game. It was about avoiding erratic decisions and making it about the team one last time to end the season, and not what he’s personally dealing with.
Because, as Decker said, if he made the decision today, he has a pretty good idea of what direction he would lean. He knows he makes a ton of money to do what he does, but that doesn’t make what he just went through any easier on a human level.
When asked what he went through on a daily basis this season, he laid out a long list of treatments that would make anyone relate to where he’s at.
He received multiple injections, spent countless hours in treatment around practice and meetings, spent four to five hours weekly in a hyperbaric chamber, hit the red light bed for 30 minutes every day and then did a stem machine on his shoulder after putting his children to sleep, along with weekly acupuncture appointments.
For the Lions, they may lose Frank Ragnow and Decker in back-to-back years. The close friends battled through injuries more than most to keep playing, and helped take this franchise to where it’s been in the previous three seasons.
Decker takes pride in the fact that he’s spent a third of his life in Detroit, and with just one team. There is more to life than football, though, and the knowledge of that, with memories of this challenging year, is what Decker has to grapple with in the coming months. He’ll speak with his wife, coach Dan Campbell, general manager Brad Holmes and teammates to get there.
“You can’t play football forever,” Decker said. “And it will be challenging, but I’m going to need to find, if that is the decision that I make, what the opportunity could be in there for me … But as of right now, all I’ve done is I’ve played football forever. That’s always what I’ve done. I’ve played offensive line since 2002. That’s all I’ve played.
“I’m a fortunate player who’s got to be on one team. I’ve got to be here for 10 years. I take a lot of pride in that, and I think that makes it weigh heavily on my heart even more.”
