The woman told Coleen: “He is mature and I’m young at heart, so we meet in the middle.”
Woman with younger man (stock image).(Image: Getty Images/Image Source)
Dear Coleen
I’m a 42-year-old woman and a single mum with a 12-year-old daughter after divorcing a couple of years ago. For the past few months, I’ve been seeing someone who I’ve fallen for. The only issue is he’s 27, so there’s a mammoth 15-year age gap.
We met the old-fashioned way – at a bar when I was out with friends. I think at first he assumed I was closer to his age (all my friends say I look at least 10 years younger) but when I told him I was in my 40s, it wasn’t an issue for him. He’s also a parent and has a three-year-old son with his ex-girlfriend.
Things have been going well, he’s mature for his age, probably due to being a dad and I’m young at heart, so we meet in the middle.
The problem is, the people around us aren’t as positive as we are. My friends keep coming up with reasons for the relationship not to work, the main one being that he’ll get bored and move on or I won’t be able to keep up with his lifestyle. His friends have been good, but his mum and sister less so – they’re friendly to me but he did say they both advised him it wouldn’t last, as I was way too old for him.
I have a good feeling about it and, after divorce, I’m more about living in the moment.
Coleen says
I think after a divorce you’re absolutely right about living in the moment. You can find reasons for every relationship not to work, even when there’s no age difference. We don’t know how any relationship will work out or what challenges life will put in the way.
If it’s going well and you two are OK with the age gap, and you’re having a good time, then just enjoy it. Worry about it when it stops working and it might not stop working.
My sister Maureen’s partner was 11 years older than her, and they were together for more than 20 years. My other sister Linda’s hubby was 15 years older than her and they were blissfully happy for nearly 30 years until he passed away.
I think it’s OK to gently ask people to back off. If they have worries, they can talk among themselves, but be supportive to you.
The fact is, you could meet someone who’s 45 and realise the relationship has no future.
The good thing is, your partner is a dad, so the question about having kids might not be there, unless he’s set on having more children.
My advice is, if you’re both happy, go with it and don’t dwell on other people’s opinions.
