Pat Coogan hemmed. He hawed. He gazed into space and stroked his chin, clearly pondering one of the most difficult questions he’d been asked at the College Football Championship media day.
“I really don’t know the answer,’’ the Indiana lineman said finally. “And it’s annoying because I’m trying to come up with one right now.’’
The riddle he couldn’t solve: What does Fernando Mendoza do wrong? The Indiana quarterback won the Heisman and led his team to the national championship game. He has a degree from Cal. He’s earnest and thoughtful. He loves his mother. He’s humble and God-fearing. He looks people in the eye when he speaks. Even his nail beds are well groomed.
But it can’t be real. There has to be a fatal flaw. And yet … a quick survey of folks who know him well found everyone as stymied as Coogan. Head coach Curt Cignetti practically guffawed when asked, as if the mere concept of Mendoza doing something wrong was absurd.
Wide receiver Charlie Becker, who shares a house with Mendoza and a few other players, said he and his housemates actually had this very conversation the other day. Just thinking about guys moving on and ways they could improve as people, as players, whatever.
“And we were all pretty much stumped with Fernando,’’ he said.
Even baby brother Alberto had no tea to spill. He admitted they used to scrap his kids. Punches might get thrown and someone would go crying back to mom. But that was years ago. Now? Alberto laughed.
“So he gets a lot of stuff because he’s him,’’ Alberto said. “And sometimes he lets the boxes stack up. Like not that many.’’
How horrid.
It was left, then, to the source himself to solve the riddle. Fernando insisted he wasn’t perfect, though he didn’t exactly list a lot of flaws. He did own up to the box collection, but then quickly made up for it by saying he probably needed to apologize to Becker, whose bedroom is nearest to it.
Finally, after ruminating a bit, Mendoza wound up his way to the most hilarious flaw of all.
“I’m a people pleaser,’’ he said. “People have said to me. You always want to make a good impression on everybody, but you need to focus on the right things. Sometimes you have to say no. And that’s true. I need to learn to say no.’’
So there it is: the worst thing about Fernando Mendoza is he’s too nice.
