How can people possibly afford to live in one of the most expensive cities on the planet? It’s a question New Yorkers hear a lot, often delivered with a mix of awe, pity and confusion.
We surveyed hundreds of New Yorkers about how they spend, splurge and save. We found that many people — rich, poor or somewhere in between — live life as a series of small calculations that add up to one big question: What makes living in New York worth it?
Ever since she was a child growing up in Guilford, Conn., Molly Culver wanted to live in New York City, “come hell or high water,” as she remembers it.
She was never under any illusion that it would be easy, but for years, she was managing well. She spent nearly a decade running an urban farm, teaching classes on farming and growing her floral business, which meant she was bringing in about $50,000 a year.
A few years ago, Ms. Culver, 44, turned her floral business, Molly Oliver Flowers, into a full-time job.
She sells flowers sourced from nearby farms for events, and also runs a subscription service in which customers sign up for weekly flower deliveries. When weddings and parties started back up after the Covid pandemic, she was able to pay herself as much as $62,000 before taxes one year. But then the economy soured, and clients pulled back on nonessentials.
Last year, Ms. Culver put nearly all the money she earned back into her business. She paid herself a salary of about $23,000 and took roughly $22,000 from her savings, more than half of her nest egg, to stay afloat.
Priced out of the housing market
After the pandemic, Ms. Culver was newly single and no longer splitting rent with her former partner. She soon realized she could no longer afford to pay market rent.
As she searched for housing, she said, “I was looking for the miracle that only happens through word of mouth in this city.”
First, Ms. Culver spent a few years renting a 150-square-foot room with a twin bed in a friend’s home for $40 a night, which did not include cooking privileges. (She typically spent a few nights a week there, and the rest of the week at her mother’s house in Connecticut.)
Last year, after her friend said she needed the room back, a different friend mentioned she had a spare room to rent out in her home in Ditmas Park, Brooklyn.
It was $600 a month, more than Ms. Culver was used to paying, but much cheaper than anything else she could find.
Ms. Culver’s housing setup shows what it takes for many people to afford housing in New York: The family that owns the home lives downstairs with their two small children. Ms. Culver and three other tenants rent rooms on the two top floors.
The group often gathers for Shabbat dinners on Friday nights, and Ms. Culver said the “funky” configuration has helped her accept a different version of life in New York City than she once thought she’d have.
“I’ve come to let go of that perfectionist idea of what home, success and happiness looks like,” she said. “That’s totally changed the game for me.”
In her new home, Ms. Culver has an induction burner, a sink and a microwave on a landing outside her bedroom. She shops for food at the nearby Flatbush food co-op and keeps her grocery bill to about $100 a week.
Spending half the week outside the city
Ms. Culver often spends a few nights a week in her childhood bedroom in Connecticut, where she helps her mother around the house and looks after her two cats, adopted from the streets of Brooklyn.
She bought a used Prius, with a car payment of about $270 a month, which she uses to shuttle between the city and her mother’s home.
Ms. Culver wonders from time to time whether it would be easier to do her job in a smaller, less expensive city, but she keeps running up against the same problem: How would she find success selling her floral arrangements in a less dense, less wealthy market? And then there are the relationships with the farmers, venues and clients she has spent years cultivating.
“Multiple things can be true at once: I love New York, I love my job and I wish rent was still at prepandemic levels,” she said.
“If the only people who can afford to pursue a dream are very wealthy,” she said, “what does New York become?”
Ms. Culver understands the trade-offs that come with doing something you love that doesn’t generate a lot of money, so she invests most of her money into her company.
She recently found a new floral studio with room for a professional cooler for flowers, which cost $10,000.
She signed a seven-year lease to keep the rent down, and brought in two studiomates, but still had to put $20,000 toward moving in, including a $15,000 security deposit. Her share of the rent is $2,800 a month.
Learning to live on a budget
Ms. Culver has never had a gym membership in New York City, opting for long walks in Prospect Park for exercise. She does not shop for clothes unless her winter boots or coat are really falling apart.
She does not need to live like the younger New Yorkers she sees on her Instagram feed, determined to live an extravagant life in an expensive city.
Ms. Culver loves the city’s museums, but typically visits them only a few times a year, when there’s an exhibition she really wants to see. She eats out with friends occasionally, which she sees as an investment in holding onto those relationships.
Her goal is to one day make her business successful enough that she could take home $75,000 a year, her dream salary.
But for now, Ms. Culver said, “I’m just another person trying to make it work.”
We want to hear from you about how you afford life in one of the most expensive cities in the world. We’re looking to speak with people of all income ranges, with all kinds of living situations and professions.
