Carole Pope on the new doc Antidiva: ‘I was so tired of being underappreciated as an artist’

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Cutaways is a personal essay series where Canadian filmmakers tell the story of how their film was made. This Hot Docs 2026 edition offers a little twist in that it’s written by Carole Pope, the subject of Michelle Mama’s film Antidiva: The Carole Pope Confessions, which opens the festival on April 23rd.

When Michelle Mama, a rising star in Canada’s documentary firmament, first approached me about shooting a film based on my life and career, I was conflicted. Why a documentary about me? Sure, I’ve had a life. But do I need to see my aging mug on the big screen? 

But then I did some soul searching. I was so tired of being underappreciated as an artist, and seeing other people lionized for the same things my sweet departed collaborator, Kevan Staples, and I did eons ago. 

I wanted some acknowledgement. I wanted Rough Trade to get some love for being far ahead of the curve. We were so much more than our breakout hit, “High School Confidential.” Yes, I was singing about lusting for another woman, but that is not what I wanted for my legacy. Michelle convinced me to go for it. 

Mama, as everyone calls her, created Gay Agenda, a production company that makes only queer content and whose credo is queer stories need to be told. With Gay Agenda and Allison Grace’s Here’s The Thing Productions on board, Antidiva: The Carole Pope Confessions was a go. Producer Bill Taylor handed me a GoPro and told me to have at it and shoot my daily adventures. 

The first thing Mama sourced was early footage of Rough Trade on the somewhat radical CBC talk shows Canada After Dark and 90 Minutes Live. Back in the ’70s, Kevan and I were thrilled to have such a great platform for our quirkiness. (Antidiva was produced for the documentary Channel and will stream on CBC Gem in July.)  

The crew shadowed me at the Inspire Awards at the University of Toronto’s Hart House, where I presented an award to Peaches. After seeing an early cut of the film, she signed on as an executive producer. I couldn’t love Peaches more for just being her in the face of the shitstorm that is now.  

A scene from Antidiva: The Carole Pope Confessions. (Hot Docs)

Mama and a Canadian crew flew to Los Angeles, where I was renting a temporary retro crash pad. I was working on my new book, Anti Diva Deux, and recording a couple of new tracks. 

They shot me hiking around the Hollywood Reservoir and walking along Santa Monica Boulevard, the gay epicentre of WeHo (West Hollywood) as the locals call it. None of this ended up in Antidiva. My big lesson about documentary filmmaking was they shoot hundreds of hours of footage just so they have everything covered. 

Meanwhile, Mama was busy working on one of the main components of the documentary: artists who were influenced by me and Rough Trade. While in L.A., she filmed interviews with k.d. lang and Rufus Wainwright. And that was just the tip of the iceberg for people who kindly sat down with Mama and held forth on our music and the halcyon days of the art scene in Toronto.  

She also spoke to Jasun Mark at his home in Palm Springs, Calif. (I’d worked with him on a couple of my solo videos, “Vagina Wolf” and “This Is Not a Test.”) He talked about how Rough Trade’s song “Crimes of Passion” made him feel seen as a young gay person.  

There was walking — lots of walking. While I was in New York, we shot in Greenwich Village, where I’d lived in a fabulous sublet on Hudson Street. We strolled the meatpacking district, surrounded by the ghosts of the ’80s gay bars where my brother, Howard, and I used to hang out. 

We ventured into the freak show that is Times Square because I’m trying to get my passion project, Rough Trade: The Musical, launched. In Madison Square Park, we sat and talked with Chilina Kennedy — who’s playing me in the musical — and other young actors who’d been part of our first full workshop.   

A scene from Antidiva: The Carole Pope Confessions. (Hot Docs)

The doc crew shot my live performances at the El Mocambo, Hugh’s Room and Pride Toronto, where there was plenty of backstage drama. I’d shot some of our tour dates on the GoPro, but they didn’t make it into the doc. Everything that was included in the final cut needed to move the narrative forward. 

Mama also interviewed Kevan, who had been bravely battling renal cancer and passed away last year. He was so happy to be able to talk about our adventures together. 

I don’t think I’ll ever recover from his loss. I feel blessed to have had him in my life. 

To me, this documentary is a celebration of our love affair with each other and the music we made.