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I once asked Gritty what his Wawa order is because here in Philadelphia, the answer can reveal as much about you as your astrological sign.
“Have you played Wawa Screen Roulette? Eyes closed — tap, tap, tap, complete order,” he wrote back via email.
Just like his natural state, Gritty’s Wawa order was absolute chaos.
Philly’s orange, ominous overlord may choose his touch-screen buttons a little more wisely starting Monday, when Wawa debuts its limited-edition Gritty Smoothie in honor of the big guy, just in time to fuel fans up for the Flyers Stanley Cup playoff games against the Carolina Hurricanes.
The Gritty Smoothie — a Philly oxymoron for the ages — is orange in color, of course, but is not orange-flavored (Gritty has no time for your logic).
The mango-pineapple-and-tart-cherry smoothie comes topped with whipped cream and chocolate chips (perhaps a nod to Gritty’s gaping eyes, which stare into the void and pierce the cold hearts of his enemies). It’s served in a new, disposable cup that features Gritty’s peepers and some tuffs of his orange fur.
Alas, there’s no touch-screen option to flavor boost the beverage with the blood of the Penguins’ mascot or the tears of Sidney Crosby.
The timing of the release of the Gritty Smoothie coinciding with the Flyers’ first playoff run in years is kismet. Both Wawa and Gritty have been teasing their collaboration since the end of March on social media, well before the Flyers made it into the playoffs.
In one Instagram video, Gritty grabs lunch at Wawa and brings his own tablecloth to lay atop one of the trash cans outside.
“Nothing beats a delco picnic,” he captioned the post.
In another video, Gritty dons a black-and-orange suit in a boardroom and pitches Wawa’s mascot, Wally Goose, on a collaboration.
“I’ve been a lil choosy on who I meet with during the playoffs, but when Wally the Wawa Goose calls, you answer,” Gritty said in a news release Monday. “Like most Philadelphians, I’m rough around the edges, everyone knows it. But on the inside, I’m smooth (and doughy). What if there was a way to harness my smooth side and put it in a 24oz cup? Impossible? Wrong. We did it. We made a smoothie. WE MADE A GRITTY SMOOTHIE. You’re welcome.”
Gritty is not the first Philly sports celebrity to collaborate on a gas station gastronomical delight with Wawa. Kyle Schwarber had the Schwarbomb energy drink and Schwarberfest, a Hoagiefest spinoff featuring discounted hoagies. There’s also been the Saquon hoagie (for the Eagles Saquon Barkley) and the Jason and Kylie hoagies (for former Eagles player Jason Kelce and his wife, Kylie). Heck, even Mare of Easttown got her own Wawa hoagie, and she only played high school basketball.
The cross-promotion pairs two of Philly’s biggest cultural touchstones — a 62-year-old convenience store chain and an 8-year-old unhinged mascot. Philadelphia didn’t choose this life, it chose us.
The thing is, Gritty and Wawa’s fan bases extend well beyond the boundaries of Southeastern Pennsylvania. Delco-based Wawa now has about 1,200 stores in 13 states and Washington, D.C., and more than 95 store openings planned for this year.
Gritty, meanwhile, is beloved by fans across every NHL team and by people around the world. He’s been a question on Jeopardy!, a celebrity guest at South by Southwest, and the subject of a choral hymn.
So I’m sure a lot of people across the country will be excited about this smoothie — but they can’t have it. It’s only available at 400+ stores in Philly and the surrounding region.
So sip, sip my fellow fans in Flyers country, for this beverage, and this time, is ours.
