Former Texas Tech wide receiver Danny Amendola had an unlikely NFL career. A product of The Woodlands High School, in greater Houston, he started his Red Raiders career as a punt returner, in 2004, and ended it as a gritty ball catcher, in 2007. Still, sub-six-foot white guys with average speed aren’t considered great pro prospects, and Amendola went undrafted, spending time on the Dallas Cowboys’ and Philadelphia Eagles’ practice squads. His first two years in the NFL, he never played a down of regular-season football.
But he was a gutsy, hardworking competitor, and he eventually found an opportunity to see the field as a member of the St. Louis Rams, in 2009, before signing with Bill Belichick’s New England Patriots four years later. There, he exhibited a scrappiness that saw him become one of quarterback Tom Brady’s favorite targets, one of Boston’s favorite players, and a two-time Super Bowl champion. He wound down his career with stints in Miami, Detroit, and—finally—his hometown of Houston, before retiring in 2022 with a pair of rings and more than six thousand career receiving yards.
Brady, during a commencement address at Georgetown University’s business school last weekend, touted Amendola’s circuitous path to glory while advising the class of 2026 on how to find people to trust. “He wasn’t the tallest, he wasn’t the fastest, but he had a huge heart. And he played his ass off in the biggest moments. And I hope you guys find colleagues like Danny,” Brady said. “Having business-school friends [is] great, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes you need a kid from a glorified community college who can bail your ass out of any jam.”
To which we say . . . “glorified community college”? Texas Tech has roughly the same number of undergraduates as the University of Michigan, Brady’s alma mater, and—rather famously—produced Patrick Mahomes, the greatest quarterback the National Football League has ever seen. While we’re sure that Brady, as the second-best signal-caller in NFL history, was merely razzing his pal Danny, it was quite a stray shot from a man who has proven himself to be extremely good at precisely one thing (playing quarterback) and pretty bad at everything else. In the spirit of defending our turf, taking unnecessary potshots, and illustrating the glass house from which Brady throws, let’s run down a quick list of things far more embarrassing than Brady seems to think attending Texas Tech is.
There are two reasons Brady is a bad broadcaster: his reedy, annoying voice, and the things he uses it to say. None of us choose our voices, of course, but we do choose what careers we pursue. Why Brady chooses to commentate only in clichés and generalities rather than bring his expertise and knowledge of the game to bear is a mystery. Perhaps he’s only capable of thinking on his feet with a ball in hand. (Brady: We hear Tech’s College of Media & Communication is superb.) Fortunately, Fox has been wise enough to pair Brady in the booth with Kevin Burkhardt, who presumably sees Brady as the equivalent of one of the business-school friends mentioned in the Georgetown speech and probably wishes he had an Amendola on hand instead.
His Acting
There is no shortage of former athletes whose magnetic charisma ensured they’d enjoy a career on the big screen after their playing career ended. Former University of Miami defensive tackle Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson is one of the more bankable names in Hollywood; Seattle Seahawks great Marshawn Lynch was nominated for an Independent Spirit Award for his scene-stealing turn in the 2023 comedy Bottoms; O. J. Simpson was—well, never mind, but he wasn’t bad on camera.
Tom Brady, meanwhile, is bad even when he’s playing Tom Brady, which he’s done in such esteemed shows and movies as Entourage and Ted 2. Even in 2023’s 80 for Brady, a thespian’s playground that he produced and that is in fact named for him, he’s the worst part of the movie. Remember, this is a film that features Guy Fieri. (Tech, once again, offers a BFA in theater.)
His Snake Oil Salesmanship
During his playing career, Brady began marketing a nutrition brand called TB12. He sold protein bars, snacks, and something called recovery pajamas; he offered bold nutritional advice like “avoid processed foods” and “drink a lot of water.” (Who let this guy speak at a prestigious university, again?) Alas, this year Brady announced that TB12 would be “winding down,” leaving those seeking further biochemical insight from the former great to glue themselves to Fox NFL broadcasts, in the hope that he might attribute Dak Prescott’s woes to dehydration or insufficient pajamas.
His Choice of Friends
In January, Belichick became eligible for the Pro Football Hall of Fame. He didn’t make it in—a shock for a guy who won six Super Bowls as head coach and only cheated to get to the big game twice (that we’re aware of). Brady took offense at the snub, telling a Seattle sports radio show that “there’s no coach I’d rather play for.” That’s not technically true, of course; back in 2020, Brady decided that he’d rather play for Tampa Bay Bucs head Coach Bruce Arians, with whom he won an additional Super Bowl. Meanwhile, Belichick faded his way out of being a first-ballot Hall of Famer by way of a string of middling Pats seasons and a foray into college ball—he just wrapped his first year as the head coach of the UNC Tar Heels, in which the team tied for thirteenth place in the Atlantic Coast Conference. Does all of that suggest that Belichick was perhaps the weakhearted “business-school friend” of the duo? Who can say—but we do know that Belichick is one of the least likable coaches to ever don a headset. If Brady’s loyalty to him is admirable, we’ll assume he learned it from the “glorified community college” alumni in his life.
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