‘I’m so desperate to get a mental break,’ Lindsay Clancy wrote in journal, investigator testifies

About two months before, Clancy wrote, “It’s like I’m so desperate to get a mental break taking care of everybody that my mind is trying to feel what’s physically wrong with me.”

Clancy’s lawyer, Kevin Reddington, suggested during cross-examination of Melo that prosecutors had singled out excerpts that failed to capture the context of Clancy’s postpartum mental health illness and questioned Melo about other entries she had written.

Clancy wrote that she felt she had “horrible PTSD” and felt incredibly guilty for sleep training Callan, who was born in May 2023, when he was a week shy of four months old, even though he was still a happy baby and the doctor assured her he was OK.

“Hearing him cry for 1 plus hours and not intervening just about killed me,” Clancy wrote, adding that she had told her husband, Patrick, “I want to die,” while Callan was crying.

“I would also drive him around for car naps for hours everyday,” Clancy wrote, adding that she felt she had handled sleep training wrong. “I now have horrible insomnia and anxiety which is causing depression. I have no appetite. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want help. I want to be well.”

Reddington continued reading journal entries including one that stated, “I feel disconnected with myself, time, reality. I think going back to work will help with that.”

In court, Clancy, 35, a former labor and delivery nurse at Massachusetts General Hospital, appeared to wipe away tears as the trial adjourned for the day.

Clancy has admitted to strangling 5-year-old Cora, 3-year-old Dawson, and 8-month-old Callan with exercise bands, but has pleaded not guilty to three counts of first-degree murder. She is claiming “lack of criminal responsibility,” also known as the insanity defense, based on postpartum mental illness.

On Monday, as testimony resumed for the second week in Plymouth Superior Court, for the first time jurors heard evidence related to the defense’s claim that she was suffering from “postpartum psychosis” when she strangled her three children.

The disclosure came as Reddington quizzed a nurse at Brigham and Women’s Hospital about a note contained in Clancy’s medical records, indicating that when Clancy arrived there hours after killing her children at her Duxbury home and jumping out a second-story window she was “critically ill” and “has postpartum psychosis.”

The nurse, Rachelle Amedee, acknowledged that a doctor had written the note in Clancy’s file, which she had reviewed after Clancy was transferred to the Boston hospital from South Shore Hospital in Weymouth on the night of the killings.

“You knew there had been discussions about postpartum psychosis, is that right?” Reddington asked.

“Yes,” said Amedee, who cared for Clancy in the trauma intensive care unit at Brigham and Women’s Hospital. She said Clancy, whose spinal cord was severed, leaving her paralyzed, “coded” in the early morning hours after the slayings and had to be given a major blood transfusion.

Her testimony shifted the focus from the earlier, graphic, traumatic testimony about the deaths of the children, to Clancy’s mental state at the time.

Amedee was called as a witness for the prosecution, but the back-and-forth over her testimony signals what is expected to be dueling diagnoses of Clancy’s mental illness at the time of the killings and the days and weeks after.

Prosecutors also called Dr. Jhilam Biswas, a forensic psychiatrist at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, who testified that she evaluated Clancy just before she was to undergo spinal surgery at the hospital two days after the slayings. At the time, she said, Clancy was “exhausted and anxious” and had a breathing tube in her mouth, so could only communicate with a pen and paper.

When asked about her mood, Clancy wrote that she was “horrified,” Biswas said.

Biswas said Clancy later wrote, “do I have an attorney,” and Biswas said she told her she wasn’t sure, adding that Clancy asked “is my body broken,” and “are my legs straight,” and also asked where her family was and if she could have visitors.

She said Clancy needed breaks but she seemed to understand the questions she was being asked. Clancy provided “relevant answers and questions,” Biswas said.

Assistant District Attorney Jennifer Sprague asked, “Did you notice signs of psychosis?”

“At the time, I documented that I did not,” Biswas said.

However, during cross-examination, Biswas acknowledged that she had only met with Clancy for about 20 to 30 minutes, and was unaware that Clancy had “coded” and nearly died before she evaluated her.

She said “at that time I was trying to assess ‘is she confused or oriented,’” a suicide risk, disorganized, and other factors.

The first witness to take the stand Monday in Plymouth Superior Court was Dr. Michael Snyder, a physician at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center-Plymouth.

He said he was working in the emergency department on Jan. 24, 2023, and that he treated Cora Clancy.

Snyder said Cora had “no heartbeat” when she arrived at the hospital.

He said the care team intubated the child and performed a cardiac assessment.

Snyder said CPR was ongoing throughout her treatment, and that intensive care physicians from Boston Children’s Hospital were consulting on the phone in anticipation that Cora could be brought there.

She was pronounced dead after about a half hour at the hospital, he said.

Dr. Michael Snyder, who treated Cora Clancy, testified on Monday.Greg Derr/Pool

Prosecutors allege that Clancy planned and deliberately carried out the fatal attacks. They allege she was unhappy with her life, wanted to die by suicide, and killed her children because she didn’t think anyone could care for them as she did.

Dr. David Casavant, who treated Callan Clancy, testified.Greg Derr/Pool

Dr. David Casavant said he treated Callan in the intensive care unit of Boston Children’s Hospital. Callan had suffered a “severe neurologic injury” and did not respond to touching, pinching, speaking, or any other stimuli given to gauge his status, he said.

The child also did not exhibit any signs of pain from his breathing tube, which “no one would be able to tolerate” without sedation if they were at all responsive, Casavant said.

Superior Court Judge William Sullivan listened to proceedings.Greg Derr/Pool

State Police Captain John Santos testified that he searched the Summer Street home’s kitchen area on the night of the deaths.

He said he found a number of notebooks from a kitchen cabinet. Among the items in the notebooks was discharge paperwork from McLean Hospital and a list of various prescribed medications for Clancy.

There was also information on therapy resources, a postpartum depression and anxiety information sheet for patients, and a book titled “Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts,” according to Santos.

Shelley Murphy can be reached at [email protected]. Follow her @shelleymurph. Travis Andersen can be reached at [email protected].