“I would want to get to know Tanner.”
Those were among the first words Hunter, whom Shay Martin would later marry, said to her, convincing her she could fall in love again.
After wondering whether anyone could accept that her late husband would always be part of her life, Martin says she finally met someone who didn’t ask her to leave Tanner behind.
Martin, whose husband, Tanner Martin, died in June 2025 at age 30 after a five-year battle with stage 4 colorectal cancer, is identifying Hunter only by his first name because he prefers to remain out of the public eye.
The couple recently married in an intimate ceremony attended only by them. During the ceremony, Martin says she and Hunter both mentioned Tanner in their vows before releasing butterflies in his memory.
Hunter’s vow, she says, affirmed everything she had hoped to find in a partner.
“I cried a whole lot,” Martin, 30, tells TODAY.com.
She says falling in love again wasn’t about replacing Tanner. It was about finding someone willing to make room for him.
“I didn’t get divorced from Tanner,” Martin says. “I still loved him, and I was always going to love him.”
She says she began to wonder whether only another widow or widower could understand that reality. Then she met Hunter. From their earliest conversations, Martin says he welcomed Tanner into the relationship instead of treating him as someone to compete with.
Martin says Hunter has embraced the advocacy work that grew out of Tanner’s cancer journey.Courtesy Shay Martin
“He was the first guy who didn’t see Tanner as a threat,” Martin says. “I think it takes a confident, empathetic man to do that.”
The acceptance Martin found in Hunter extended beyond their relationship.
One of the qualities Martin was searching for, she says, was someone who could embrace Tanner’s family as readily as his memory. Before long, Hunter was attending family gatherings with Tanner’s relatives, including a family reunion where, Martin says, he fit in naturally.
The moment that stayed with her most came from Tanner’s father.
“He said Hunter reminded him of his son,” Martin says. “That’s a really good compliment to get from Tanner’s dad.”
Hunter has also forged a close bond with AmyLou, who was born on May 15, 2025, just six weeks before Tanner’s death. Martin says watching him with her daughter reassured her that the future Tanner wanted for them was still possible.
“She has two dads,” Martin says. “She has an angel daddy and she has an earth daddy.”
On Aug. 2, one year after Tanner’s death, Martin shared the news of her marriage in an emotional Instagram video, describing it not as moving on from her late husband but as moving forward while carrying him with her.
“Moving forward is not the same as moving on,” she said. “You never run out of love, and I will never graduate from grief.”
The announcement marked another deeply personal chapter for Martin, whose family drew millions of followers by documenting Tanner’s illness. The couple shared the realities of living with advanced colorectal cancer, including treatments, setbacks, IVF, pregnancy and, ultimately, the birth of their daughter, AmyLou. Tanner died after living long enough to meet the daughter he had fought so hard to see.
Looking back, Martin believes much of her grieving happened long before Tanner died.
Martin says one of the things she loves most about Hunter is seeing the relationship he’s built with AmyLou.Courtesy Shay Martin
“I didn’t lose Tanner on June 25, 2025,” she says. “I lost him much earlier than that. It was six years of grieving for me.”
Martin says people often assume there is a right amount of time to grieve before moving forward, particularly for young widows. She admits she was surprised by how ready she felt to date, though she also feared she might never experience another love like the one she shared with Tanner.
The advice that changed her perspective came from her grandmother.
While Tanner was in hospice, Martin remembers asking, “Who’s going to love me the way that Tanner has loved me?’”
Her grandmother didn’t hesitate.
“Someone is going to love you,” she told her. “And they’re going to love you differently.”
Today, Martin says those words capture what she has learned about grief: loving again has never meant loving Tanner less. Photos of him remain throughout her Arizona home, and she expects they always will.
