‘Twas the week after New Year’s and all through the house, not a creature was stirring … except the mom taking down all the decorations, washing dishes, recycling Christmas wrapping paper and donating old toys to make room for the new ones.
The mental load of the holidays can feel overwhelming, exhausting, impossible and unfair, often resting on the backs of women. But Ireland, that magical country across the ocean, has a solution for that.
It’s called “Nollaig na mBan,” meaning “Women’s Christmas,” and it occurs every Jan. 6 to coincide with Christianity’s Feast of the Epiphany, when the Magi brought gifts to the Christ child. It also happens to be the 12th day of Christmas, the day the Irish traditionally take down their Christmas trees and decorations.
Irish history communicator Jane Casey tells TODAY.com that the holiday has “misogynistic” roots, as it stems from conventional gender roles.
Throughout the 19th century, “women would take the 6th of January off to rest,” Casey says. “They met up with friends, went to pubs — a novelty, as women weren’t allowed in many pubs — gathered in one another’s homes, and enjoyed the leftover food from Christmas.”
Casey says that Nollaig na mBan existed in the cultural consciousness when she was growing up in County Wicklow in the 1990s, but it was never actually observed. These days, however, modern Irish women are giving new meaning to the holiday.
“Leaving behind traditions tied to outdated gender roles, younger generations have reclaimed the day as more of a way to celebrate women’s contributions to Irish culture, art, politics and everyday life, as well as female friendship, connection and community,” Casey says.
Women organize grassroots events as diverse as group swims in the Atlantic, poetry nights and music gigs.
Author and content creator Hadas Knox posted an Instagram reel about Nollaig na mBan, and the comments “revealed shared feelings we’ve all been carrying,” Knox tells TODAY.com.
“What struck me most was how quickly it sparked deeper questions about rest, invisible labor and how much trust we place in one another at home,” Knox adds.
I personally felt revitalized by the idea of Women’s Christmas, especially after dealing with Christmas cards, various kid illnesses, kin keeping … and don’t get me started on that Elf on the Shelf.
I reposted Knox’s reel to my Instagram story, inviting women— especially moms — to join me in celebrating. The responses were immediate and many:
- “I’m IN!”
- “Let’s goooo!”
- “Where shall we meet for our day?”
- “Another reason to be proud of my Irish ancestry!”
This year Nollaig na mBan happens to fall on a busy Tuesday, so my personal “celebration” will have to occur around work, doctor’s visits and shuttling kids after school. It might be as simple as taking a moment to rest, reset and resolve to offload more of the mental load next year.
So ladies, somewhere in your post-Christmas chaos, please join me in raising a glass to the wise men who may have unwittingly started this much-needed tradition — and the wise women who deserve its continuation.
