Nikki Glaser did it again. She came out swinging as host of the 2026 Golden Globes, kicking off the ceremony with jokes aimed at Leonardo DiCaprio, CBS News and Hollywood at large over the Epstein files.
After walking out on the awards show stage to Taylor Swift’s 2014 hit “Style,” Glaser didn’t waste any time getting to her anticipated opening monologue, first taking a jab at the headline-making Netflix bid for Warner Bros. Discovery. “Good evening and welcome to the Golden Globes. Yes, the Golden Globes, without a doubt the most important thing that’s happening in the world right now,” she began. “So let’s get down to business, shall we? We’ll start the bidding for Warner Bros. at $5. Do I hear $5?”
Glaser then took a moment to get a bit political. “I cannot believe the amount of star power we have in this room tonight. It’s insane. There are so many A-listers, and by A-listers I do mean people who are on a list that has been heavily redacted. And the Golden Globe for best editing goes to the Justice Department,” the comedian quipped, referencing some lawmakers’ efforts to force the Justice Department to release the Jeffrey Epstein files.
She also poked at CBS News, which is now run by editor-in-chief Bari Weiss, after she was appointed by Paramount CEO David Ellison. However, her three-month tenure has been criticized, most notably when she pulled a 60 Minutes episode on allegations investigating El Salvador’s notorious prison, CECOT. “The award for most editing goes to CBS News. Yes CBS News, America’s newest place to see B.S. news,” Glaser joked.
The host then started shifting her attention to the star power in the room at The Beverly Hilton, turning her attention to Jay Kelly actor George Clooney first.
“I’ve always wanted to ask you this question, and I know this is unprofessional, but I might not get a chance to do it again, so here it goes,” Glaser said. “My Nespresso has been coming out kind of watery, and I’m wondering, is it like a pod issue or you think it might be the filter? Could you troubleshoot it for me later?” Clooney has been a long-running face of Nespresso, appearing in several commercials over the years.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Kevin Hart were next to brace themselves for Glaser’s jokes.
“The Rock is here for the Smashing Machine,” she said. “The Rock is nominated tonight and luckily for him, the TV show The Paper is not, so he might win. And Kevin Hart is here, yes. The Rock’s plus one-half.”
The host continued, “Kevin is obviously nominated for his hilarious stand-up special tonight. I love you so much, Kevin, you’re so funny. And you and The Rock together are like my favorite comedy duo. Such a classic comedy duo. You’re like a Steve Martin and Martin Short for people under 50 IQ.”
Die My Love actress Jennifer Lawrence was in attendance Sunday night, and instead of teasing her, Glaser actually made herself the center of a joke. “Jen gave such a stunningly visceral performance in Die My Love, and you look gorgeous tonight. Oh my God,” the host said. “True story, I once told a makeup artist, ‘Can you make me look like JLaw?’ And he was like, ‘Honey, I can’t even make you look like Jude Law.’ So, we laughed.”
Some of the castmembers of The White Lotus season three were also in the audience, including Parker Posey and Walton Goggins, and Glaser took a moment to quip about the season’s incest storyline.
“One of my favorite shows of all time,” she said. “I love you guys so much. Did you guys actually know that White Lotus season three was the first hit show to feature incest since Property Brothers season all of them? That’s so interesting, right?”
Glaser later turned her attention to One Battle After Another star Leonardo DiCaprio, and while she praised his performance in the film, the comedian also didn’t waste an opportunity to joke about the actor’s girlfriend’s age, which stems from people on social media pointing out that his partners over the years have consistently stayed under age 25.
“What a career you’ve had. I mean, countless iconic performances. You’ve worked with every great director. You’ve won three Golden Globes, an Oscar, and the most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish all of that before your girlfriend turned 30,” the host said. “I mean, it’s just insane.”
“Leo, I’m sorry I made that joke,” she added. “It’s cheap. You know what, I tried not to, but like, we don’t know anything else about you, man. Like there’s nothing else. The most in-depth interview you’ve ever given was in Teen Beat magazine in 1991.”
Another leading actor in one of the biggest films of the year was Michael B. Jordan in Sinners, and Glaser wasn’t going to forget about him. “We can’t talk about movies this year without talking about Sinners. I mean, Sinners single-handedly saved Warner Bros. for about a month.”
“In Sinners, Michael played two brothers,” she continued. “Am I allowed to say that? It doesn’t sound right. He played twins. And I can’t believe it — we got two Michael B. Jordans. When I saw that, I was like, Nikki be jerking because that was awesome.”
Glaser also couldn’t forget about Marty Supreme star Timothée Chalamet, who was at the center of one of her most viral jokes at last year’s Golden Globes, so she obviously had to tease him again.
“Oh my God, man. What a dedicated performance you gave. It was incredible,” she said. “This is interesting, not a lot of people know this, but Timothée Chalamet is the first actor in history to have to put on muscle for a movie about ping pong. This is true. He gained over 60 ounces. It’s insane.”
To wrap up her monologue, which clearly had the A-listers laughing, Glaser took a moment to highlight several of the nominated actors and projects.
“Yes, I’m your host, but I’m honestly such a massive fan. Your work this year was innovative,” she said. “It felt fearless, inspiring, and in some cases, downright zootopian. And so just please keep doing what you’re doing, OK?”
“Guillermo del Toro, keep making weird monster sex movies. And James Cameron, keep making weird monster sex movies. Emma Stone and Yorgos Lanthimos, keep making wonderfully bizarre movies together and go harder. I want Emma Stone playing a piece of toast with epilepsy,” the host continued. “Noah Wyle, keep being the only doctor I’ve seen regularly for the past 35 years. Paul Mescal and Jacob Elordi, keep being the same person to my mom, OK? Hans Zimmer, keep composing film scores that sound like… [Glaser makes a loud, grunting sound], what a bop. And Claire Danes, keep making noises that they’re like… [Glaser screams]. And lastly, Steve Martin and Martin Short, keep proving to us that in this industry, you are never, ever too old to still need money.”
Glaser returned to host the 2026 Golden Globes after her uber successful hosting job last year. The 83rd annual ceremony was held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on Sunday evening. Find the full list of winners here, and check out the night’s red carpet looks.
Golden Globes producer Dick Clark Productions is owned by Penske Media Eldridge, a joint venture between Penske Media Corporation and Eldridge that also owns The Hollywood Reporter.
