Punch a guy in the NBA, and you’re getting suspended. Punch a guy in the NFL, and you’re getting ejected. Punch a guy in the NHL, and well, you might — might! — have to sit in the penalty box for five whole minutes. But don’t worry, because the other guy probably will, too.
Love it or hate it, fighting is part of the game in hockey. And it doesn’t have to be a formal, drop-the-gloves throwdown. There are plenty of haymakers that go largely unnoticed — or at least uncalled — in all those post-whistle skirmishes around the net or in front of the benches.
So when you ask 120 NHL players who the most punchable player in the NHL is, not only have they thought about it, they might have already done it.
Here are the players’ top picks and their reasoning behind them. There are no surprises at the top of this list, but there are a few interesting ones toward the bottom, perhaps revealing some personal animosities.
Note: Some player quotes have been lightly edited for length and clarity. Not every player surveyed answered every question.
Nick Cousins (24.3 percent)
We start with the reigning champion, Ottawa Senators center Nick Cousins. For the record, he’s fought 21 times in his career, according to HockeyFights.com.
“I don’t even know if he’s in the league anymore,” one player said.
“He’s an effective rat on the ice,” another said. “He’s good at what he does.”
And on it goes.
“It’s just the way he plays. He’s a little rat.”
“He’s a diver. I hate divers.”
“I can’t stand him. I heard he’s a good guy, but I’d still love to punch him in the face.”
“I’d say Nick Cousins. I love the guy. He’s a very good friend to me. On ice, for sure.”
One player went deep on his pick.
“I have a deep respect for players who have an ability to get under people’s skin,” he said. “I like those guys. For me, the top is Nick Cousins. Everybody hates this guy in the league, but when you play with him, he’s one of the best teammates you could ask for. The thing about Cousins is he literally made a career out of it. Brad Marchand could just play. Nick Cousins isn’t that good of a player, but he’s confident all the time. That’s a f—ing hard thing to do. ‘I might be minus-4 tonight and turn 12 pucks over, but I’m still going to chirp you the whole game.’ That’s next level.”
Brad Marchand (19.6 percent)
Cousins might be known as a rat, but Marchand is The Rat.
“It feels like he’s a guy you don’t want to play against,” one player said.
“Probably unanimous,” another said.
“Little rat,” one said.
Proving the point of the exercise, one player admitted he “might have punched him once.”
“Everybody says he’s a great guy, but it sucks playing against him,” another said.
Matthew Tkachuk (10.3 percent)
Not surprisingly, it’s the guys who tend to camp out in front of the opposing net who are running away with this one.
“Both of the (Tkachuks). Very good in front of the net,” one player said. “They can create offense from being tough. (Matthew’s) an a–hole in front of the net.”
Joel Eriksson Ek (4.7 percent)
To be clear, most of these votes were from his own team, the Minnesota Wild.
“If he wasn’t on my team, probably Ekker,” one loyal teammate said.
Garnett Hathaway (2.8 percent)
Simple reasoning from one player: “He’s annoying.”
Brandt Clarke (1.9 percent)
“Everyone hates him and wants to punch him in the face,” one player said. “I like him as a guy, but I could maybe see why everyone wants to. And he does have a punchable face.”
Dylan Cozens (1.9 percent)
“I’m trying to think about the rats around the league … Cozens. Dylan Cozens. That’s my answer.”
Chris Kreider (1.9 percent)
“I can’t stand that guy.”
Dylan Larkin (1.9 percent)
“Punchable? In the league? Got to look around in my head now. A few years ago, it would have been Garnet Hathaway. Who the f— always pisses me off? I’m going to say Dylan Larkin. He’s on my list. He’s pissing me off lately.”
Mason Marchment (1.9 percent)
“He gets under my skin.”
Kiefer Sherwood (1.9 percent)
“Not that I personally want to punch him in the face, but I think a lot of people do.”
Tim Stützle (1.9 percent)
“Not a fan.”
Cale Makar (1.9 percent)
Makar? One of the faces of the league?
Jealousy can fuel hate as much as anything else.
“Just because he’s really good and it pisses me off that we have to play against him,” one player said.
The question is, do you want to find yourself on this list?
There are some pretty darn good players on it. But better to lie low, right?
“No one has really bugged me too much yet,” one player said. “Hope I don’t have a punchable face.”
