Taxi App Users Warn Of Scam — Drivers Claim The Payment Failed, Then Charge You Again [Roundup]

The worst I’ve ever been scammed by a taxi driver was in Kuala Lumpur, maybe 20 years ago. I took away several lessons from that, combined with today’s realities. I would impart the following advice:

– First, pay cash if you can help it. Apps are too easily manipulated;
– Second (especially if you are paying cash) always insist on knowing the total fare from the driver before you even get into the vehicle. Get it on camera, even if it’s just the driver’s voice. If the driver insists on the meter, watch it very closely and be prepared to terminate the ride;
– Third, follow the route on your phone, especially if a meter is being used in lieu of a fixed fare;
– Forth, act confident and authoritative, even if you’re not;
– Fifth, if something feels really off, pay and get out. Worst case you can walk or find other means of transportation.
– Sixth, carry a loaded Glock 19 (but only if you can get away with it, and are trained to do so);
– Seventh, sit directly behind the driver so you can more easily achieve a head shot if needed;
– Eighth, if unarmed. be prepared to digitally induce projectile vomiting directly onto the taxi driver in the event of a kidnapping. This is far more effective than most people would realize, especially after a large meal, and the driver will almost always pull over and ignore attempts to unlock the doors;
– Ninth, before you even get in, take a quick photo of the license plate and make it obvious you’re doing it. You’re not actually documenting anything, you’re just letting him know that you could;
– Tenth, never be the guy who just “trusts the driver knows a better way.” That sentence has funded half the world’s taxi scams since 1987;
– Eleventh, small bills only. The “I don’t have change” routine is the oldest play in the book and somehow still undefeated;
– Twelfth, don’t fall asleep. Ever. You are not at home, you are in a moving negotiation;
– Thirteenth, if the driver suddenly develops a “broken meter” after you’ve already started moving, congratulations, you are now in a live pricing experiment. End it quickly;
– Fourteenth, headphones in but nothing playing. You look relaxed, he thinks you’re distracted, but you’re actually tracking every turn like it’s the Zapruder film;
– Fifteenth, if he starts the “my cousin owns a better hotel / shop / nightclub” speech, understand you’ve just become a commission opportunity. Decline like you’ve heard it 500 times before;
– Sixteenth, always have a mental “abort point” every few minutes. If you wouldn’t want to get out right here, you probably shouldn’t have gotten in to begin with;
– Seventeenth, when you arrive, exit efficiently. The longer you linger, the more creative the math can become;
– Eighteenth, tip fairly only if everything was clean. You’re rewarding professionalism, nothing else.

You’re welcome.