As a native of Strafford, Vt., who also recently lived in Watertown and was first signed as a musician while attending Hanover High School in New Hampshire, New England has long been the heart and soul of Kahan’s music. The Green Mountain State crooner admitted in the documentary that he was “close to giving up music, or at least giving up hope” while struggling to break out as an artist living away from his home state in 2019, but was reinvigorated creatively when he moved back in with his family in Vermont during the pandemic.
Being back home with his parents and siblings led to him making music about Vermont while in his home state, eventually leading to the creation of his hit album “Stick Season,” with the title track of the same name blowing up thanks in large part to his embrace of TikTok during the COVID era.
However, the success of the record and subsequent touring led to Kahan’s move to Nashville with his then-girlfriend Brenna, now his wife, and their pet dogs. Kahan revealed in “Out of Body” that he missed the Upper Valley area following the move, and that the new surroundings led to more career pressure.
“I see Vermont as where I’m from, and Nashville is where I kinda have to be for work stuff,” Kahan said in the documentary, noting that he tried to make the new house “feel like as much like our Vermont as we can.”
Kahan also admitted that he was worried that he needed the familiar surroundings of his family and Vermont in order to make music, with the documentary later showing the musician struggling to record a song while working in Nashville following the conclusion of his 2024 tour.
“I’m trying to run away from a lot of stuff right now,” he said. “I think I’ve realized that there’s some insurmountable goal that I’ll never reach.”
Noah Kahan at Fenway Park while in town for his 2024 shows in Boston.Courtesy of Netflix
Noah Kahan opens up about parents’ divorce, impact of father’s accident
Kahan fans know that he can get pretty personal with his music, and the documentary shows how tough family moments have impacted him over the years.
The singer-songwriter opened up about the good and the bad of his childhood, as well as his parents splitting up when he was an adult, in 2020. However, they still live down the road from each other in Vermont, with Kahan calling it “a pretty cool situation as far as divorce goes.”
Revealing that there was “lots of laughing, lots of fighting” when he was growing up, Kahan found refuge in making music in his bedroom. And while there were many bright moments, one of the darker chapters for the family came when Kahan’s father, a former Ironman world champion and network engineer, suffered a bicycle accident. Kahan was in eighth grade at the time, getting some candy at a chocolate shop in Hanover, when he got the call from his mother.
“It changed everything,” Kahan said in the documentary, noting how his father was in a coma and couldn’t move his legs for a while following the accident. “It was a before and an after in our lives, where you can see, ‘Oh, this is where it all … started to unravel.’”
Kahan got pretty candid about his complicated relationship with his father in the documentary, shedding a tear as he described the guilt he felt over being annoyed or frustrated with him, noting that his dad became “slightly more short-tempered” following his accident.
“I feel like a lot of it is because I can’t figure out a way to let my dad be who he is,” Kahan said, later explaining that he wants to apologize to him for being selfish and judgmental of him over the years. “I’m way too hard on my dad.”
The father and son duo share a nice moment toward the end of the film, playing guitars together while singing the Cat Stevens classic “Father and Son.”
The film doesn’t shy away from his mental health and body image struggles
As an advocate for mental health issues and the founder of the Busyhead Project nonprofit, Kahan doesn’t shy away from talking about his own challenges. Specifically, the film explored Kahan’s struggles with body dysmorphia.
“I’ve always just really hated the way I looked‚” he said in the documentary, criticizing his appearance following a show at New York’s Madison Square Garden. Kahan went on to explain how he would binge eat when he got stressed, or wouldn’t eat at all some times out of guilt, noting that the topic of body image hasn’t been something he’s talked openly about much in the past. “It’s something I’ve struggled with, like, my whole life.”
While he’s “silently struggled” with the issue for nearly 15 years, Kahan has been impacted more by his body dysmorphia over the past couple of years as he’s gotten more attention. Even though he’s made self-deprecating jokes about his appearance, he doesn’t appreciate criticism of how he looks by others or folks online.
Kahan also credited his mother for recommending he take up therapy in high school when he began to have feelings of depersonalization, dissociation, depression, and anxiety that he said weighed “heavy on me.”
The documentary later showcased his strides with his mental health, as well as the success of the Busyhead Project, in particular, spotlighting a September 2024 benefit concert in Vermont for the nonprofit where Senator Bernie Sanders made a special appearance to introduce Kahan.
Living the dream at Fenway Park and moving back to the Upper Valley
The documentary offered a behind-the-scenes look at Kahan’s 2024 performances at Fenway Park, which he called “the biggest show of my life.”
The film opens ahead of his Boston shows, with the singer-songwriter admitted that he was “excited beyond belief but super nervous and stressed” over his vocals holding up for the concerts.
Despite his anxieties, Kahan ended up turning in stellar sets, even bringing his family out onstage at one point.
“It’s really magical that you get to live out a dream you had when you were walking through the woods when you were a little kid,” Kahan said in the documentary of singing at Fenway.
However, in the months following the Boston shows, Kahan revealed that his mental health hit a low point, and he struggled to record new music in Nashville. He admitted that he felt “tired of being somebody else.”
“I don’t recognize myself. It’s so weird,” he said.
Toward the end of the film, Kahan and Brenna are seen back in Vermont looking for a new place to live in their old haunt of the Upper Valley area.
“Being up here, it’s like I don’t have to think about music all the time. I don’t have to be confronted with my career all the time,” Kahan said. “Around here, people aren’t like, ‘How are your streaming numbers?’ You know? They’re like, ‘How are your folks?’”
While he doesn’t think moving back to Vermont will solve his mental health issues, it does seem to help inspire him to get back to his music again, ending the documentary on a high note.
“I know that I’m most happy when I’m home and when I’m making music,” Kahan said.
Matt Juul can be reached at [email protected].
