Photo: Scott Kowalchyk/CBS
One week after sitting down with former President Barack Obama, Late Show host Stephen Colbert got an unexpected visit from fictional Vice President Selina Meyer.
During her seventh career appearance on CBS’ The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Julia Louis-Dreyfus gave Colbert a special surprise ahead of his May 21 series finale.
Upon notifying the studio audience, “He does not know what I’m about to do,” JLD told Colbert, “Since I know you’re a huge fan of Veep“—her Emmy-winning HBO comedy about a hapless vice president of the United States—”I got some of the Veep writers together to write a Veep-style tribute to you. And I’m going to read them to you as Selina Meyer.”
Louis-Dreyfus played Veep‘s Selina for seven seasons, earning nine of her 11 acting Emmys along the way. In keeping with Selina’s tendency to not say the right things at the right time, the “tribute” to Colbert played more like a roast.
“I’ve been on this show multiple times, and I always thought you were Rachel Maddow. Are you not?” she started.
Getting saltier: “So, you’re Irish, but you decided to pronounce your name to sound French? That’s like putting lipstick on a pig, which I understand is what Irish people do before they f*ck it.” (To which Colbert clarified, “Sheep, also.”)
“Selina” reassured Colbert that he’s “as relevant as the Bill of Rights,” and noted that The Late Show‘s cancellation “gave Donald Trump so much pleasure, I always think of you as ‘the Stormy Daniels of late night.’”
“We have watched you age on camera from a spunky kid on The Daily Show, to a canceled ,old late-night host whose jowls look like the scrotum of… well, a canceled old late-night host,” she remarked.
This next one elicited an unbridled snort-laugh from Colbert: “When my people said I should come and say farewell to you, I was hoping it would be more of a hospice-type situation.”
Taking aim at those who pulled the plug on The Late Show (and earning herself a bleep along the way), “Selina” said, “All you’ve got to do is hold on until the corporate ji**-guzzler who fired you gets fired, and he’ll be gone as soon as he runs out of new cities for NCIS.”
Speaking again of Colbert’s soon-to-be-unemployed status, “she”Selina” attempted to soothe him by saying, “I don’t want you to worry. The only reason everyone rallied around Jimmy Kimmel is because he’s more popular.”
The Veep-themed tribute’s penultimate zing begged Colbert, “Please, please don’t look at this as an opportunity to do Death of a Salesman.”
The closing cut-down, meanwhile, needs to be heard, not read. Press play below to hear that, Selina’s dig at the Lord of the Rings megafan’s “wife,” and more.
