It is a holiday season tradition that Tom Cruise sends what is assumed to be his favorite cake to an untold number of luminaries in his Rolodex. It is also a tradition that we, the denizens of entertainment media, are compelled to discuss this cake and its lore.
For the uninitiated: Cruise annually gifts his friends, associates and past co-stars the White Chocolate Coconut Bundt Cake from Doan’s bakery in the Los Angeles suburb of Woodland Hills. This cake reportedly first came to the Mission Impossible star in 2008 via then-wife Katie Holmes while she working with the late Diane Keaton, a Doan’s fan, on the film Mad Money. He served it at a party or two and, at some point, started gifting it each December.
The confection is commonly referred to as the “Tom Cruise Christmas Cake” or just the “Tom Cruise Cake,” and googling either string of words will indeed direct you to Doan’s page on luxe food delivery service GoldBelly. There, the bundt goes for a whopping $139.95, though as of the hour of this story’s publishing it is sold out. But there is an easier (and less expensive) way to get your paws on this fat ring of simple carbohydrates: driving to the bakery, where the price tag is a more reasonable $66, and buying one from a member of Doan’s very friendly staff. So that is exactly what I did. In the name of journalism.
Joining me in this taste test were three colleagues, senior entertainment reporter Mia Galuppo, senior writer Gary Baum and vp video production & development Jason Rovou. If you’d like to hear our full debate — sans chewing sounds, promise! — it is on the most recent episode of the podcast I’m Having an Episode (Spotify, Amazon Music, Apple). For the broad strokes, read our reactions below.
But first, we should note some existing prejudices. I do not understand white chocolate, Mia dislikes coconut, and Jason previously tried the cake in the past. Gary is only burdened by his own high standards.
As for the controls of our experiment: The cake was served as fresh as possible, procured first thing in the morning from Doan’s and couriered to the THR offices in my Chevy. It was still cold, presumably from spending the night in the refrigerator, and was served in a barren recording studio without beverages. My bad.
Our initial reactions…
MIKEY “There’s more texture than I was expecting. It is a poundy Bundt cake, clearly a lot of butter. There’s frosting around the whole thing. There’s sweetened coconut on top and, on the bottom, chunks of ‘white chocolate’ and toasted coconut. You want to know what? It tastes like sugar.”
GARY “I’m impressed by the complexity of texture that they get across here, particularly with the toasted coconut on one end and the nibs. I do think that you’re basically just getting a pure sugar blast, which is what I think most people want out of a holiday cake. This is not about subtlety. It’s just hitting you hard. It’s interesting. It’s more coconutty than I was expecting.”
MIKEY “‘It’s just hitting you hard’ would be a real great tagline for this cake.”
MIA “I’m having great time with it. I think it’s a really delicious cake. It does not taste like coconut, as a self-professed hater of coconut. Granted, I did not eat the desiccated coconut around the side of it. It isn’t overwhelmingly a coconut flavor.”
JASON “It’s a very festive cake. It’s like one of those Hostess snowballs … the big white coconut ball. And I will say the slice I previously had was at room temperature, so it felt a little lighter. I don’t remember the white chocolate nibs being at the bottom of the cake, which threw me a little bit.”
And after a few more bites…
GARY “I do think that we’re not doing this cake the full service by not complimenting it with a cup of coffee or something to kind of balance it. I think that by just having it essentially raw.”
MIKEY “Sorry for not bringing coffee, Gary.”
MIA “You’re right that this would be really good with coffee. It reminds me of the type of cake and your grandmother is sitting there with a thing of black coffee and she’s spooning this in like it’s a breakfast cake almost.”
MIKEY “Coconut is a very grandmotherly flavor profile.”
GARY “How much better is this cake either, A, knowing you got it from Tom Cruise and therefore you’re judging it on a curve and or, B, knowing that you’re experiencing it with others who think that you got it from Tom Cruise? I feel like that adds this whole meta element to it.”
MIA “Oh, this would be a good re-gift.”
If this cake were a Tom Cruise movie, which would it be?
GARY “Probably The Firm.”
MIKEY “It is firm.”
GARY “And the Caribbean element.”
Would we drive to Woodland Hills, spend $66, and bring it to a holiday party?
ALL “Yes.”
MIA “I think that’s a really solid price point for a holiday festive cake.”
GARY “Yes, in part because you’re getting a conversation out of it. But is it a $66 cake? No, it’s really not. There are plenty of other exciting cakes or pies or different things you could get. We could name 20 other places. But being able to talk about the sort of socioanthropological element of the Tom Cruise of it all, that adds a lot to it.”
Would we spend $139.95 to send one to a friend on Goldbelly?
MIA “If they’re a big Tom Cruise fan, if they’re watching Days of Thunder every year, sure, that is a fantastic, thoughtful gift. I think it just depends.”
JASON “I have a friend that I was actually thinking of sending this to.”
MIKEY “I’d consider it, but only to prank someone into thinking it might have actually come from Tom Cruise.”
Immediately after the tasting, the leftover cake was put on display in the bullpen of THR’s Los Angeles office. Many ate. Only four shared their thoughts.
“Upon first bite, I appreciate the moist, fluffy texture with nice coconut flavor and lovely cream cheese frosting. A solid Bundt cake. But what sets it apart: the little morsels of brown-sugary, almost butterscotchy crunchy goodness. I guess this is the white chocolate? I’d be happy to eat this once a year if someone gifted it to me.” — Jennifer H. Levin, managing editor (Note: Jen went to pastry school, so I’d trust her above the rest of us.)
“I would have this cake again! And I’m saying that as someone who normally wouldn’t pick cake off a menu because it’s usually too dry, and wouldn’t pick coconut when I could have chocolate. It wasn’t my favorite dessert of all time, but it was fresh, moist and I liked the flavors.” — Lisa de los Reyes, senior copy editor
“It’s a good cake, though nothing good enough to justify the lore Hollywood has placed behind this thing. There’s nothing wrong with it, the cake’s moist and sweet and the frosting’s good. (The coconut dries it out too much though.) But nothing about eating this has helped me understand why this is the pastry Tom Cruise wheels out to the big wigs year after year.” — Ethan Millman, music editor
“It was fine but not as good as the cake slices at El Super. Have you ever had a $3 slice of cake from el super? Incredible.” — Nicole Fell, assistant editor
Mikey O’Connell
