Last week would have been Rob Reiner’s 79th birthday. His acting and film career have impacted our lives for close to 60 years, and at this Sunday’s Oscars ceremony, the Academy has planned a tribute to recognize his work.
Since his passing in December 2025, I’ve been binge watching a wide variety of his films. I find solace knowing that his humor, charm and kind smile are well documented and easy to visit anytime in the two dozen films that he directed, the iconic television shows that he starred in, and the countless interviews he gave over the years.
To date, Reiner has three films on the Library’s National Film Registry; “This is Spinal Tap” (1984) added in 2002, “The Princess Bride” (1987) added in 2016, and “When Harry Met Sally…” (1989) added in 2022. These only scratch the surface of his brilliance as a filmmaker.
In 2022, the Library of Congress spoke with him about “When Harry Met Sally…”” and I find his recollections of the making of the movie just as sweet and lovely as the film itself.
Interview with Rob Reiner
“When Harry Met Sally…” (1989)
On the inspiration for the movie
It started with having been married for 10 years and then divorced and single for 10 years. I was in and out of relationships, making a mess of everything and trying to figure out how I would ever get with another woman again. And that was the fodder that started percolating in my head as to how do men and women work with each other. What is the secret that brings people together?
I was having lunch with Nora Ephron at the Russian Tea Room of all places. I had another idea for a film, a courtroom drama, and I pitched that to her. She didn’t like that so much. And then I said, “I’ve been thinking about this whole idea of men and women, and can they be friends? Is there always a sexual component? And if there is, how do you balance that with friendship?” And she said, “Well, that’s something I’d be interested in doing.” At the time, I was calling it “Scenes from a Friendship.” It was like a takeoff of “Scenes from a Marriage,” the Ingmar Bergman film.
We started talking, and like the reporter that she was, she started interviewing me and asking me about what men think about in terms of women, what are they thinking when they’re in relationships, what do they think about sex, and all of that. I interviewed her and found out what her perspective was. I knew that if I was ever going to make a film like this, I had to have a woman’s perspective. I couldn’t certainly do it just by myself. I would never know what a woman felt. My take on life is that a man in heterosexual relationships spends his entire life trying to figure out what a woman is, and a woman her entire life is trying to figure out what a man is. So, I thought this would be the basis for the film and we started working on it.
On writing the script
She’d write a draft. I’d come back with certain things; she’d write another draft. I’d come back with other things, and it developed over the course of a number of years. I think I met her right after I did “The Sure Thing.” So, I had done “Stand by Me” and then “The Princess Bride” in between the time she was working on the script.
It was Nora that thought Meg’s character should be high maintenance but think she’s low maintenance. That came out of a lunch we had when we were working on the script. Nora started ordering and said, “I want the dressing on the side, but I don’t want this. I don’t want that. And could you do this, and could you do that?” I said, “Nora, this has to be in the film. I mean, look at what you’re doing.” So, we put it in the film for Sally to have that trait.
“I’ll have what she’s having”
When we started casting, Billy [Crystal] was the one that I was lucky enough to get to play the part, and he’s a brilliant writer. He comes up with the best jokes. I mean, he’s like getting a freebie. When you get an actor like him, you’re not just getting an actor, you’re getting an extra writer. And he wrote the most famous line in the film, and one of the most famous lines in all of comedy films, which is “I’ll have what she’s having.”
Billy came up with this great joke, and we knew it had to be done in a deli. We did it in Katz’s Deli, and I knew I wanted it delivered by an older Jewish woman. Now, my mother had been in a couple of little films. I think she was in a film called “Fatso” that Anne Bancroft directed. She was also in “To Be or Not to Be,” the Mel Brooks film. She had a couple of little lines in those films. She could do it. I mean, she’s the right type.
I called my mother and said, “Listen, we’ve got this scene, I think you could do it, and I think it’s going to be a very funny scene. And your line, which is the last line in the scene, has to be the topper because the scene’s going to be funny. But if it doesn’t top what we’ve got, then I might wind up having to cut it.” And she said, “Well, that’s fine. I just want to come and spend the day with you and have a hot dog at Katz’s Deli. And that’s what it’ll be.”
I immortalized her with that line. Little did we know that line was going to take its place in the top 10 most quoted lines in cinema history, along with, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” and “Louis, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” So, she’s right in there. Humphrey Bogart and Clark Gable, and then there’s Estelle Reiner.
Estelle Reiner (1914-2008) Copyright: Columbia Pictures
On shooting the scene
It was Meg who said, “I can do it. I’ll fake an orgasm in an incongruous place.” So, we picked a deli. At first, she was very nervous about it. She’s in front of the crew. There are extras around, everybody’s there. The first time she does it, she’s kind of restrained. It’s pulled back a little bit. I said, “Meg, let’s try it again. It’s got to be more full out.” She tries it again and again, it’s still a little tepid.
I said, “Look, Meg, this is what I want.” So, I sit down opposite Billy and I act the whole scene out. I’m going, “Yes, yes, yes!“ I’m screaming, acting it out, and then I said “Oh my God.“ Billy says, “What’s the matter?” I said, “I just had an orgasm in front of my mother. She’s right there.”
Meg came out and she did it unbelievably well, and my mother said the line. When we first played it in the theater, when you heard that line, the laugh that came out of that, you didn’t hear the next 30 seconds of the film.
Life experiences in the film
When making a film, you don’t know whether or not the audience is going to like it, dislike it, or if it’s going to get good reviews or bad reviews. The one thing I did know is that the original ending for the film didn’t have Harry and Sally getting back together. They meet each other years later in New York on the street and they have a nice conversation. Then they go their separate ways, and we have a high shot, a high angle, and you just see them walking away down a Manhattan street.
Then, I met my wife Michele during the making of the film. We fell in love, and we got married. I thought, well, this is how men and women get together. This is how it happens. I changed the ending of the film.
The interesting thing about the old couples [in the movie] came out of a situation where I was at a friend’s house, Alan Horn, who was one of the partners at Castle Rock. We were having dinner, his mother and father were there, and everybody was kind of talking. I noticed that Alan’s father, Sol Horn, was kind of quiet. He wasn’t contributing. I thought, how can I draw him into the conversation? I said, “Mr. Horn, how did you meet Mrs. Horn?”
And he tells the story, and the story that he tells is the first story that you hear in the film, which is that he was at a Horn and Hardart restaurant with his friend. He sees this woman walk in. He says to his friend, “See that woman? I’m going to marry that woman.” And, two weeks later he was married, and 50 years later, he says, “I’m still married.”
That became the idea. It’s how men and women get together, and there’s all kinds of stories. It’s a great thing to talk about at dinner. If you ever get into a lull, ask that question. And every story’s good, they’re all good, and they’re all interesting. So, I thought, this’ll be when Harry met Sally, and how these other couples met, and I’d intersperse their short stories throughout the film.
Audience Reaction
The first weekend we thought, okay, we’re going to be all right. I think we opened in something like a thousand theaters, and we did like $8 million, which in those days, was a very good number. And progressively we did well throughout the summer. Clearly this is resonating with the public. The whole idea, can men and women be friends, was the idea of the film and people were talking about it. It was a topic of discussion, and we realized at that point we had something.
People have told me that they fell in love on their first date when they went to see the film. Women are the ones that will take the men to the rom-coms, the romantic comedies. The men take the women to the action films. That’s a cliché, but in those days, that was the thing. The film became an American aphrodisiac, a cinematic aphrodisiac.
Final thoughts
The main thing for me, when you think about making films for the public, you are making it your experience, Then, when it comes out, it becomes the public’s experience. It’s no longer your experience; it’s for the public.
For me, the thing that I took away is that I met my wife on the film. It’s the most important thing that ever happened to me on any film. So, there you go.
The views expressed in this interview may not necessarily reflect those of the Library of Congress. To learn more about the National Film Registry and to nominate films for consideration, visit www.loc.gov/film.
