William Shatner Said Star Trek: The Motion Picture’s Uniforms Threatened His ‘Ability To Procreate’
Paramount
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There is still some debate among Trekkies as to which of the “Star Trek” feature films is the best. Common wisdom dictates that Nicholas Meyer’s 1982 movie “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” is the best, and some of the films that followed (“Star Trek: Nemesis” and “Star Trek Into Darkness,” in particular) are essentially “Wrath of Khan” retreads. Other Trekkies, however, might prefer Robert Wise’s ambitious “Star Trek: The Motion Picture” from 1979. That film is about a massive, massive cloud-like space entity — an ineffably powerful machine intelligence — that threatens to swallow Earth if its mysteries aren’t solved in time. “The Motion Picture” is certainly the kind of heady story that’s befitting of “Star Trek.”
But even fans of “The Motion Picture” will agree that the Starfleet uniforms in “The Wrath of Khan” are infinitely better. The uniforms worn in all the “Star Trek” films made from 1982 to 1991 had a militant appeal; they look formal and ornate. The uniforms in “The Motion Picture” specifically make the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise look like dental hygienists. They’re all given unappealingly muted colors, including beige, off-brown, and gray, and nobody in the movie’s cast seems comfortable wearing them. In the original “Star Trek” TV series, the (men’s) Starfleet uniforms are a two-piece affair pairing a shirt with pants. For “The Motion Picture,” however, they’re decked out in full-body jumpsuits.
William Shatner, who played Admiral Kirk, hated the jumpsuits. Indeed, in his memoir “Star Trek Movie Memories,” the actor addressed the Starfleet uniforms in “The Motion Picture” and recalled how badly they rode up in the front, crushing the wearer’s genitals. And when the actors sat down in them, the jumpsuits would tighten even further, causing, by Shatner’s recollection, many cries of pain.
The jumpsuits in Star Trek: The Motion Picture were a pain in the crotch (literally)
Paramount
Shatner had nothing kind to state about the space-dentist uniforms of “The Motion Picture,” writing:
“Ugly, form-fitting, pastel-colored, one-piece jumpsuits. […] [I]t was virtually impossible for any male member of our cast to sit down without seriously endangering his ability to procreate. […] All day long, our set was peppered with the pitiful high-pitched yelps and wailings of castmates discovering this particular design flaw for the very first time.”
The uniforms, it should be noted, were not designed by “Star Trek: The Original Series” costumer William Ware Theiss. Rather, they were the handiwork of stage veteran Robert Fletcher. In 1980, Fletcher spoke with Fantastic Films Magazine (which has been handily transcribed by the ‘blog My Star Trek Scrapbook), and he spoke extensively about his ambitions for the new Starfleet attire. Fletcher felt that Theiss’ uniforms were too “pulp” and not very practical. He was especially skeptical of the miniskirts worn by the female crew members of the Enterprise. “The last thing a crew-lady needs in a Red Alert situation,” he explained, “is a run in her pantyhose.”
He also reasoned that engineers would, logically speaking, wear spacesuit-like uniforms with bio-monitors built in (hence the large, round widget on the stomachs of the engine room’s crew members). He felt that even Starfleet’s military uniforms would have variety, as do modern military uniforms. Everything was meant to look futuristic yet mellow and practical. Indeed, the soothing colors make “The Motion Picture” appear less visually demanding and more laid back. In this regard, Fletcher was successful.
Still, as Shatner pointed out, Fletcher failed spectacularly when it came to the crotch comfort of the actors. Fletcher was wise to redesign the uniforms for “The Wrath of Khan.”
