I was trying to be romantic, but I’ve really messed up, and I’m worried the bad impression I’ve created is going to stick.
‘My antics over Christmas have put me in a bad place with my girlfriend’s parents’(Image: Getty Images)
Dear Coleen
I’m a 28-year old man and I’ve been seeing my girlfriend, who’s 29, for a few months and things have been going well. However, when we met, we agreed to take things slowly as she’d come out of a bad relationship and moved back in with her parents and I was also recently single.
My problem is, over Christmas, I made a bit of a fool of myself and it’s clear her parents disapprove. Basically, I showed up at her parents’ house uninvited after a drunken night out with my mates, as I was desperate to see my girlfriend.
She wasn’t at home, so her parents had to call her and get her to come back, then they called me a cab to take me home.
She hadn’t told her parents about us and when they realised we were dating, the message to her seemed to be, “So you’ve chosen another wrong ‘un!”
My girlfriend isn’t that happy with me either, although she’s tried to do a bit of damage limitation with her parents. I was trying to be romantic, but I’ve really messed up, and I’m worried the bad impression I’ve created is going to stick.
I don’t know what to do now for the best. I don’t want to dig myself a bigger hole by over-explaining, but I’m really serious about this girl and want to make things right.
I don’t want her family to hate me and to worry that their daughter has hooked up with someone who’s bad for her.
Can you suggest anything?
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Coleen says
OK, you haven’t created the best impression, but I think everyone is in danger of blowing this out of proportion. You are not her ex and it’s unfair for you to be tarred with the same brush when they don’t even know you.
It’s not the end of the world and it doesn’t have to be the end of the relationship but I think you have to do a bit of damage limitation yourself and show them who you really are.
Why not start by sending a card (maybe along with a bunch of flowers), thanking them for helping you out and apologising for showing up drunk and unannounced?
Then I think it’s about trying to get to know them, and them getting to know you. They’re obviously sensitive around boyfriends because of their daughter’s last relationship, so bear in mind that they’re looking for reassurance.
Now the cat’s out of the bag and they know you’re dating, hopefully there can be a proper introduction and a fresh start. Good luck.
